Either Way, We're Talking About Small Leather Goods, Right?
Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”–60th St b/w...
View ArticleWe Also Would Have Accepted “'Copping' a Feel”
Drunk brunette #1 to cop: We're what you call us… Badge bangers!Drunk brunette #2: Yeah!–Canal & CentreOverheard by: Tits McGhee
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Find Nemo
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?–Starbucks, Sheridan SquareDrunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is...
View Article“…Now Write Something Nice About My Balls”
Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.Bored girl: Whatever.Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?Bored...
View ArticleHave Skirts Gotten Too Short? Discuss.
Girl #1: I think my tampon is stuck in my v-j-j.Girl #2: I that happened to me once.Little boy, walking by: Mommy whats a “v-j-j?”Mom: Your father will buy you one when you're 21.Girl #1: Can you have...
View ArticleIn Person, Miley and Billy Ray Are Pretty Much What You'd Expect.
Guy, on Nextel: Hey, honey.Girl, on other end of Nextel: Dad, I'm pissed! I think he's cheating on me.Guy: Why do you say that?Girl: Cause my vagina is itchy and red.Guy: Well, maybe you should go get...
View ArticlePoo Poo Platter
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick. Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass. Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy. Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your...
View ArticleMy Nuts are Chickpeas
Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!–East VillageOverheard by: Nicole Weber
View ArticleOnly in New York and Only in Her
Cum slut: I thought the spermicide would take the sperm away. But it stayed in there and just got itchy. And burns. –Ginger, Ave. A Overheard by: Tibbie X
View ArticleFilming on the My Fair Lady Remake Commenced in NY This Week
Teen girl on cell: Yo! Where da fuck you be at?! You come pick us up this fucking second; it’s so fucking cold out here, my twat’s got ice on it! –Union Square
View ArticleAnd I'm Trying to Turn It Into an Organized Religion
Thick Brooklyn accent guy #1: Ten-dollar drinks, fifteen-dollar burgers…that's how these strip clubs get you.Thick Brooklyn accent guy #2: Yeah man, forget the food. I'm a fucking Pussetarian.–W 34th...
View ArticleRockette Auditions Are the Stuff Of Nightmare
Girl: It smells like vagina.Guy: No, it smells like vaseline or something.Girl: Really? It smells like ass.–Radio CityOverheard by:
View ArticleEspecially When You’re Pulling a Baby Human Through It
Guy: He paid for all that and you didn’t even fuck him at the end of the night? Girl: Nada. Guy: It must be fantastic having a vagina. Girl: Sometimes it really is. –Central Park Overheard by: Mark...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners (Sing Along If You Know the Words)
Crazy hobo (to the tune of Elvis’ Hound dog): Ain’t nothing but a hound dog! (mutters next two lines) And you never fuck a rabbit in the ass, cause that’s just a waste of time!–E 4th St & 2nd...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liner: The World's Oldest Profession
Older, dirty-looking hobo: Hey, spare me some change, all I want tonight is a hooker and some malt liquor.–Ave A & 4th St20-something girl: Seriously! There is nothing better after a stressful day...
View ArticleCue the Least Romantic Song Ever
Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway. Thug #2: She naked? Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair. Thug #2: She naked? Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot. Thug #2: I’d...
View ArticleDo Wednesday One-Liners Measure Up?
Eastern European in velour jumpsuit, approaching guy on street: Sup, cuz. Hey, remember to give it to Ricky tonight for that thing tomorrow. It's a good size. Alright, see you later.–89th &...
View ArticleMay/December Wednesday One-liners
Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis these days. –3rd between B & C Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience. –124th & Manhattan...
View ArticleRock, Dude. He'd Fucking Rock.
New wave boy: You're like Lou Reed with a vagina.New wave girl: Since when did he not have one?Random stoner friend: Hey, do you want to get Indian food!?New wave girl: What would Lou Reed do?–2nd Ave...
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